
I really hate my family so much...All of them cant understand me..As when i need someone to talk about everybody ignore me...Am i so useless???People often say don look down on yourself,i tried not to but life make me feel it that way...Basically,life is no more important to me...Money is the most important...I know as a Christian,i cannot think of money...But life make me to do so...My mum and dad eyes only have MONEY...Even a $17 hi-card they are not willing to pay...they are willing to pay the FUCKING MONEY to town to buy the ARSE card...Y???It is because of MONEY...The are all MONEY face...Though sometimes i may...But not as like that...that is TOO MUCH....People all don understand...At the surface i make be looking happy,but deep down inside me...I am sad and lonely...That y you all see me happy very fast and get sad even faster....WHat to do???Nobody can open my lock...My lock is meant for somebody...that is really true to me and will not spread it around...All this i have been keeping since sec1...Till now,i am not been able to find the somebody....i also don know why...Perhaps my school do not have a true friends that can be trusted...All this i can only keep deep deep down in my heart an cried inside myself..Nobody have ever asked me:"How you feeling right now?"I have been waiting for this for a long long time..Ever since i left my Primary school...people always tell me to adpat to the new environment...but is like already 3 years have past...I still cant adpat to a new environment...Y???I have already adapt...But i need somebody to talk to...Perhaps a teacher or a true friends...Who is really true...to me...MAybe Kellie can???Nobody knows untill i realise it myself...All this i can only keep it to myself....Honestly and bodly...people tell me that you are the inly one who knows yourself better than others...Even a Good friends that are 10 years friends with you cant even understand you that well...I know that all this mught be true,but i realise that all this that i have kept to myself have to be release to someone...But i know...though i have not found my true friends but i know that,there will still be friends surrounded me...Dayz by dayz...Though they cant listen to my troubled,i know one day there will be sombody will hear me out...I will continue to prayed to GOD for miracle to happen.....